If I had a dollar for every time I thought about what to wear, or what to wax before a date I'd be a rich girl. It's a little vivid to me now but I do remember the experience was similar to the ones had by me... It all started the same, getting back into the dating game after so long is a hard yard within itself. You realise things are different in the dating world and the dynamics have completely changed. What you thought it would be like, to what it is now is crazy beautiful, because this is my interpretation for the word weird LOL.
All of us have our reasons for being single, some due to a recent break-up, others because they haven't found that person to connect with, or if you're like me your partner has passed away. After this stage you realise it's time to try and move forward to find maybe someone who might... you never know, fill your love void. Dating for some is exciting but for me it was a whirlwind experience, I was scared because for the first time I was alone again after eight years of having the love of my life right next to me and didn't know what to expect.
Through my experiences, I learnt a lot about myself. So what I really wanted, was a type of person I connected with, who would make me happy and finally the person who I could live with for the rest of my life in harmony. Most of the time our relationship experiences are part of our life journey, thus we have lessons to learn. I know from my experience, things that I wanted or believed to be right were completely wrong. Once my heart opened again and felt connected with my soul, this realigned my being and gave me the clear indication towards what it was that I really wanted in a relationship.
Now the steps you take getting ready for a date... This can be fun sometimes?
The clothes line-up kills me every time. It's like that mirror scene you see in those chick flicks, where one outfit is taken off within seconds of the scene, to go with the particular song being played to bring the scene together making it explosive.
Then there's the shaving or waxing stage, where just in case the date goes well or you know there's a possibly of sex in play, you make sure your body is silky smooth and not something out of the movie King Kong. You obviously do this before putting on the outfit, please don't get confused and start shaving/waxing after, I know sounds silly but I have heard stories, so I need to make this crystal clear! LOL
Next up is the initial meeting, where in my experience the destinations of these dates were the same, due to the fact I made them that way! Since dating was a new thing for me and times had changed. I'm thinking because Australia had changed and society had acquired the frightened approach to life due to media involvement. So meeting someone new was exciting but also scary at the same time. I always took my dates to the same restaurants and bars because I knew the people at these places and this made me feel safer. I didn't realise how lonely so many people were and all they wanted was someone to love. Some had potential don't get me wrong but others just wanted to have fun, meaning sex was on the cards mostly.
Why do you think most people though choose to be single? Yes in my case I didn't really have a choice but others do and that's where the pros and cons of being single come into view. Everyone's circumstances are a little different though, as I discovered while getting a friends take on what he thought these were. He explained that you have to dissect the whole persons situation to really get to the root reason, to why they are single or choose to be. So for example, what if you were a single parent and started dating again, it wouldn't only be yourself that you had to take into account. Like a friend told me, when she goes out on dates she refers to where she lives as my kids house, not hers. Which got me thinking, the situation depicts the individual wanting of that person.
So the pros of being single, let's just see shall we? For one you don't have to explain yourself to anyone, you can purely concentrate on thy self and make decisions based on what you want singularly. Number two, you have less worries because you really only have to worry about you and the only real worry a single person has or thinks is... "Am I going to find the right person to spend my life with?" Then there's the socio economical issue of wealth that appears, so someone single in a great net position (Single 1) has more freedom to do what they want to do, as opposed to someone (Single 2) who is on a lower pay scale bracket. Thus, (Single 2) is then more swayed, convinced or wants to be in a relationship, not only for love but security for the rest of their life. There's also the point that the more unwealthy someone is, the more mentally unwell they are due to their economic position on all forms, so this idea of a relationship seems more tempting and benefiting for their well being as a whole.
The obvious cons though are loneliness, feeling isolated and the longing for intimacy or just the touch from someone who connects with you and understands who you are. The person who fits you so well. There's also the stigma around single women who are single mums, who are put into the sex pool and are seen as just wanting this from a potential partner on a date. When in fact they really just want what everyone wants, love. There are cases where cougars run wild and free but this is because some have been caged up for so long and no one really knows what they have been through. It's their form of release, not necessarily a sexual one but one which makes them feel good again, on a mental, physical or emotional level.
So being single and ready to mingle delves into all facets of relationship circumstances. At the end of the day yours depends on what you want in your life. What you need and why it's missing. Choosing to date or not to date is just that... a choice. I did it for the experience again, maybe one day my circumstance will change once more but that's what life is all about, the lesson, experience and life you want to live.