Have you ever met someone and they have made you wait to the point where you're sick of their absolute empty promises. So many people including men I might add, have in fact been stood up. I remember meeting a guy while on holiday in China and he appeared to be so into me, not he's just not into you but he was, or was he? Back to the story, we met at a popular rooftop bar on the Bund in Shanghai, where similar hotshot types hang out possibly waiting for their next prey...The first night was about the formalities and the initial flirting to get closer to you in order for them to even have a chance. Then comes the... let's meet up another night for drinks, so I can really play with your emotions for you to actually see my true attraction to you and purpose as to why I'm doing this, obviously not only for bedroom purposes but possibly to raise their EGO?
The next step is to sleep with you, but not necessarily to have sex with you, just to show you they actually do care, but not 100% to the point they show you all of them yet, meaning their full personality. Finally you have the I need to see you before you go night, this is the night where you know if you make it or if it already broke, somewhat in lost translation. Well mine was muddled but in fact if I think about it now it's crystal clear. I was on holiday, so that's what it was a holiday fling with someone who had no intention of really being real but someone who was being unreal, a fake conception of who they really were. A funny guy, who had charisma and knew how to play the game, someone who even had sisters, that meant he was supposed to treat women better? Having sisters is a known generalisation in our society, not to say he wasn't kind but maybe misunderstood? Definitely! As someone who wanted to have fun, as did I but for me I cherish experiences and define them as gracious experiences and treat them with the outmost respect.
So waiting for over two hours in a gorgeous gown, makeup on point and killer heels to match, I was ever so disappointed that someone I thought was something different, was in fact the same statistic still out there. Then after you send them several messages telling them that they have inspired you to write one of the best pieces you have written, while still wearing your gorgeous gown (yes the emotions were strong and the ideas just needed to be typed rather than forgotten) they confuse the hell out of you and start writing you messages like, 'Dede my phone is ducked? You awake?' Do you think he's drunk much? LMAO and then you reply back "Yes and Are you sure?" Then the conversation continues, 'my friends forced me to stay with them?' "Did they put a knife to your head mate?" I didn't say that but you know what I'm talking about, like really? Then he tries to avoid the question by writing 'I want to see you now where are you?' I then reply, "At the hotel" but thinking Helloooo Where You Were Supposed To Pick Me Up From Like 3 Hours Ago! Seriously and then he says 'Should I come to you?' 3 hours late buddy but what the heck let's see what you have to say....
Before even going down the lift to the lobby, where my standup offender is waiting to be picked up, as we all do, I look in the mirror to make sure I somewhat look decent after washing all the amazing makeup off my face and agree with the person I see staring back at us. I'm thinking that I am doing the right thing and I am fricken amazing just the way I am. Even before the makeup and glamourous job I was me, an individual who wants the best for herself. So why not give him a chance to explain I say in my mind. I go downstairs and his face lights up as soon as he sees me, more like as soon as I give him the first piece of my mind needed to help him understand how he made me feel. He then explains that he is so sorry and he didn't mean for this to happen.We enter the lift and all I keep thinking about is how cute he is while he's apologising to me but I stop myself and say NO! He hurt me and has made such a lame excuse as to why he wasn't here like three hours ago.
We enter the hotel room and I then say to him... "Read it". He then says "What?" I then say, "The article on my laptop it's about you and probably one of the best pieces I've written. I add "It's how you have made me feel waiting for you". He then continues by reading the article, his face is so difficult but sweet to read because I could see he actually felt me. He understood and looked as though he was about to cry. I asked him "Are you crying?" and see if he is ok, he replies, "No I'm not about to cry". I then say, "But why are you looking at me like that". He then says, "I didn't realise how I made you feel". Then I ask "Am I a good writer?", He then says "You're not a good writer, you're an excellent writer because after reading that you have made me feel like absolute crap". In that moment I felt like a million dollars not because I wanted to make him feel bad or hurt him but to make him understand how I was feeling and what he actually meant to me. I absolutely made my mark that night and he even taught me a few things about why people stand up others on dates. Please read below the reasons for stand ups as stated by my one night stand up casanova. I think he was pretty spot on.
While standing outside on the balcony our conversation became more heated as to why one night stand up casanova actually stood me up. He was very apologetic and all I kept saying was that it was ok and he kept saying no it's not, so I really did embed something in that beautiful head of his. All I could see while he was talking to me were his amazing meaningful eyes and his genuine manner towards the situation. Then he added the most interesting fact, that men and women who stand you up are in fact fearful that when they go to meet someone they will be stood up. So it's the fear within ourselves that makes us do this. He goes on by talking about the comfort in knowing that where he was before he came to see me was safe because he knew that someone would be there and the not knowing that I would be there, scared the heck out of him. I knew fear was a cruel offender but I didn't realise how many facets travelled within it and because we hardly knew each other, the trust factor was not entirely there yet. It's these amazing journeys and experiences that teach us exactly who we are and who others we meet really are.
On another note, he was my something different and Dede was my new name, I was also his special person, which I noted to him was another word for someone who was slow but for him Dede was special. "There's only one Dede in the world" he said and then whatever happened next in the hotel back in Shanghai China stayed there".
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